Law and order

The New New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

Errr, but no Haitians.”

Autonomy is breaking out all over the place

Government Announces Plan for Increased Newfoundland Labrador Autonomy

A number of initiatives announced by the Federal Government today will increase the independence of Newfoundland Labrador and facilitate its growth. These initiatives build on the strengths of Newfoundland Labrador and appropriately recognize its role as a provincial institution.

The Honourable Peter Mackay, Minister responsible for Newfoundland Labrador, made the announcement today in St. John’s. He was joined by Nova Scotia Premier Darrell Dexter and Newfoundland Labrador Premier Danny Williams.

To assist the growth and independence of Newfoundland Labrador, the Federal Government has formally requested that the House of Commons:

• Rename Newfoundland Labrador to Nova Scotia East to enhance its unique identity within the federal system;
• Submit a separate budget to the Federal Government through the House of Commons to allow independent budget processes and priority setting; and,
• Position the Premier of Newfoundland Labrador on the senior executive committee, reporting directly to the Premier of Nova Scotia.

“Newfoundland Labrador has already proven that it is capable of great things and this is an opportune time to build on its current success,” said Minister Mackay. “This government firmly believes that autonomy is key to the economic agenda of Newfoundland Labrador. To support its growth, we are also announcing today an investment of $6.5 million for Newfoundland Labrador.”

“Our government made a commitment to ensuring that Newfoundland Labrador had the capability and resources necessary to increase their autonomy and promote themselves as a world-class provincial institution,” said the Right Honourable Stephen Harper, Prime Minister of Canada. “These initiatives fulfill this commitment in a tangible way and I look forward to seeing great things from Newfoundland Labrador as they move forward. Newfoundland Labrador has made great progress in the past four years and through our continued financial support, our government is proud of our commitment to Newfoundland Labrador.”

This funding will also support five new positions to attract increased funding for Nova Scotia East. As well, it will support additional positions in support services and general operations at Nova Scotia East, based on its strategic planning process. Furthermore, annual funding will eliminate Nova Scotia East’s existing operating deficit.

Finally, this funding will support the establishment of a Nova Scotia East Secretariat, located in St. John’s, to support Newfoundland Labrador as it implements key priority areas for growth.

“Our goal is unwavering – to grow Newfoundland Labrador in terms of programs, with the focus on its tremendous strengths, within the Nova Scotia community,” said Premier Dexter.

“The positive changes Minister Mackay announced today give us the resources to support marketing, recruitment, research, and services,” said Premier Williams. “These initiatives, which include greater local control of our fiscal planning, are critical initiatives we have identified to give us greater autonomy.”

“The new initiatives announced today are very positive news for the Newfoundland Labrador community and the whole east coast,” said Minister Mackay. “A renamed Nova Scotia East will play an integral role in the economy of Atlantic Canada and the new investments and initiatives will ensure that Newfoundland Labrador has the necessary resources and tools to address the issue of autonomy.”

Cabinet shuffle

IP Freely is first on the scene at Government House, with exclusive video!!!

Thank you, Premier Williams!

Thank you for putting another 60 million barrels of oil in the ground!

Dannyland Who's Who: The Giant Pander

The Giant Pander, common throughout Dannyland in the early and middle parts of the 20th century, was once in decline. However, dedicated action by local political leaders, especially MHA's, has led to a revival in the fortunes of the Giant Pander throughout most of its native habitat.

Unlike its distant relatives in China, the Giant Pander of Dannyland cannot rely on bamboo for its diet. It subsists instead on a steady diet of carrots and sticks.

In Central Dannyland, the Giant Pander was seen earlier in this decade, loitering near the school in Bishop's Falls in the Exploits area. During the past year or so, it has also been a frequent visitor at the gate of the former paper mill in Grand Falls-Windsor, and at the health clinic in Lewisporte.

In the Labrador portion of Dannyland, the Giant Pander has been spotted at the site of the future hospital in Labrador West. Giant Pander sign has also been spotted along the length of the Trans-Labrador Highway, except in the southern areas. Wildlife officials believe that its preference for the Lake Melville and Labrador West regions is due to the lack of local "political leadership" in the region of Cartwright to L'anse au Clair.

In Western Dannyland, the Giant Pander has been reported in the vicinity of the Nicholsville Bridge in the Humber Valley, on the campus of Sir Wilfred Grenfell College in Corner Brook, and as far north as the clinic and x-ray lab in Flower's Cove in the Straits and White Bay North region.

Unfortunately, the Giant Pander is now known to be exterminated from the Northern Peninsula, probably through recent over-hunting. Local environmentalists will enlist the help of Sir Paul McCartney and Sarah McLaughlin to publicize the sad plight of the Giant Pander in this part of the world.

While the Giant Pander has lost some of its northern range, it is expanding into east-central Dannyland. A steady stream of Giant Pander sightings have been coming in throughout November month from the Terra Nova region. This area of Dannyland represents the best chance for the amateur naturalist and the research biologist alike to see the Dannyland Giant Pander in the wild, before it migrates to warmer regions for the winter.

Irish eyes are crying

Here is some video fresh into I.P. Freely's email. Thanks to the anonymous P.C. Staffer who whipped out her Blackberry camera at last night's "victory" party down at headquarters.

Who are we going to war against today?

An important Strategic Planning tool recently spotted on the Premier Williams' desk, next to the purple files.

Latest billboard in Port au Basque

LEAVE PAUL ALONE!!!

How fucking dare anyone out there make fun of Paul after all he has been through!

He has two fuckin kids.

All u people care about is readers and making money out of him. He a HUMAN What you don’t realize is that Paul made you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of crap about him.

All you people want is MORE! MORE-MORE, MORE: MORE!.

LEAVE HIM ALONE! You are lucky he even worked for you BASTARDS!

LEAVE PAUL ALONE!…..PLZ.

Randy Simms talked about tough jobs and said if Paul was up to it he would’ve pulled it off no matter what.

Speaking of tough jobs, when is it a tough job to publicly bash someone who is going through a hard time.

Leave Paul Alone PLZ…. !
Leave Paul Oram alone!…right now!….I mean it.!

Anyone that has a problem with him you deal with me, because he is not well right now.

LEAVE HIM ALONE!