Steve Kent - Man of many colours!

Get ready to see this on on a TV near you.

License plate roundup

It looks like the government will be offering us a wide variety of license plates to choose from.

Courtesy Bond Papers:

Courtesy Table Mountains:


This one was last seen rolling onto the Port au Basques ferry. It seems he was an engineer from St. John's who couldn't find a job. He was pretty joyful in laying down his professional career in the service of his Premier and his province, though.

New license plate

Government was good enough to update our automotive license plates featuring bold, clear and strong blue lettering. It turns out that those red letters were blurry, hard to read and kind of shifty in strong light.

Here's a sample (to be issued to the Premier personally) contributed by our friendly source at Motor Vehicles.

Labrador

Premier Williams' Constitutional reforms

The Confederation Building is pretty leaky these days.

The most recent news from the government of Our Glorious Leader is a constitutional initiative centered around deletions to the Canadian constitution. This initiative will be unveiled very soon in another massive publicity campaign reminiscent of the provincial branding campaign.

The centerpiece will be this video.

Blogger Defence Fund

As a result of the actions and threats of government of legal action against bloggers over the last week, IP Freely is initiating a Blogger Defense Fund (BDF).

The BDF is a cooperative which will pay for the legal defense of paid-up blogger members. Any blogger in the province or writing on provincial issues is free to join the cooperative.

The law firm which has agreed to represent the BDF is the Toronto firm of Phukem, Skrewim and Bloughmie.

Willamina Noenotting, lead counsel, has assured the BDF that she and her colleagues Elizabeth Bloughprem and Anthony Psuckdyk will be offering a vigorous and zealous defense of the security, integrity or freedom or speech of the bloggers of Newfoundland and Labrador.

In the meantime, as a way of showing support for the Blogger Defence Fund (BDF) we are providing the opportunity for free speech loving bloggers everywhere to share their feelings with the government.

If you are interested in participating, simply:

• Print out the button design below
• Glue it to any old campaign button you might have lying around
• Wear it with pride!

Thank you for your support!

Hang it near your phone

A friendly reminder from your government.

We'll sue you all! And your little dog too!

By election eve special

After careful study, Chief Electoral Office Chuck Furey has identified the problem with declining voter turnout and apathy.

Voting is just too hard.

So after consulting with all of the parties that Danny Williams is leader of, he has come up with a new, simplified, voting system.

Rather than having 48 confusing districts, with different candidates running in each district, there is now just one slate for all 48.

Rather than have three and more different parties, which just confuses people who try to figure out what, if anything, distinguishes the Liberals, PC's and NDP, there will now be just one party.

And to really help the voter save time and trouble, the ballots will be pre-printed.

Just as in Iraq, this will ensure stable government for decades.

Don't forget to go out and exercise your democratic right to vote; IP wants to see a high a turnout as possible!

IP issues correction

A few weeks ago we published a leak from the Department of Eduction on the new map to be distributed to all schools for the proper teaching of geography.

We have since been contacted by the good people at the department and it has been gently suggested that we have 72 hours to issue an apology otherwise they will sue our asses off.

Like government, we are deeply attached to our asses (see John Hickey) and value our ass as a soft place to sit down (see John Hickey). We find it is a useful part of our body to excrete waste materials (see John Hickey), to pull out out from time to time to embarrass our adversaries (see John Hickey) but to otherwise keep under cover when not in use (again, see John Hickey if you can).

So, in that spirit, we publish the correct map below and apologize for any confusion.