An important message from Kathy Dunderdale

The Telegram and the Opposition parties have missed the real purpose of the Lower Churchill benefits strategy which the provincial government released July 14, 2010.

The benefits strategy is a guide for the whole Lower Churchill project and is part of an unfolding plan.

The steady progress towards the start of the project is evident in the substantial progress on preliminary engineering, aboriginal agreements, environmental assessment and, in the last week, the request for proposals for engineering consultants as well as the benefits strategy.

I would have expected both the opposition and The Telegram to applaud the release of information on this important project for the people of the province.

I would have expected singing and cheering, and dancing in the streets.

I wouldn't have been dancing, myself personally, but I would have expected dancing girls and dancing boys.

I would have expected ticker-tape and confetti. And bunting.

I would have expected a parade, with floats and clowns and marching bands.

I would have expected rose petals strewn about my feet as I led that parade. On a float.

I would have expected tissue-paper flowers.

I would have expected servants in togas to hand-feed me grapes while minstrels serenaded me with their lutes.

I would have expected petit-fours. Trays and trays of petit-fours. And those little puff-pastries stuffed with white cheese and fines herbs.

And chicken fingers.

And a pig-roast.

I would have expected a disco ball and laser show and fireworks.

I would have expected thundersticks, tambourine, and vuvuzuelas.

I would have expected goat sacrifices. Come on, you bloody ingrates, momma wants you to slit a goat!

I trust this clarifies matters.

Kathy Dunderdale
Minister of Natural Resources
St. John's

Summer of love

Minister of Information

Lower Churchill is progressing along very nicely, thank you very much!

We are currently undergoing EAs on generation project, on Newfoundland and Labrador link! We are talking with customers in Atlantic Canada, Mr. Speaker, and in Northeastern United States, as well as New York and Ontario, Mr. Speaker! There is very healthy interest in this project which, as Premier said yesterday, is cheapest hydroelectric project in North America!

Mr. Speaker, in terms of our relationship in acquiring transmission, either through Quebec or through Labrador or through New Brunswick, our issue has only been give us level playing field! We are prepared to compete, and, Mr. Speaker, we will bring green energy solutions to rest of country and Eastern United States!

Mr. Speaker, we will know run of this river! We understand whole project, Mr. Speaker! So we are in strongest possible position to negotiate the best benefits on behalf of people of Newfoundland and Labrador! Mr. Speaker, everybody in country and everybody in Eastern United States knows that we hold answer to many climate change issues in Lower Churchill, Mr. Speaker! Project is online, it is on time, and it will get developed!

Lower Churchill will be developed and it will be developed in best interest of people of Newfoundland and Labrador!

Mr. Speaker, it will be done in timely and comprehensive fashion!

The Battle of the Ads Part Two

The Battle of the Ads

EXCLUSIVE! Williams to step down!!!

He already hinted at it during the Juno Awards, but today IP Freely is the first with the official news.

Yes, Danny Williams will soon step down as Premier of NewfoundlandLabrador to take on a new, high-profile job on the international stage!

The selection team is said to be very impressed with the Premier's qualifications. Rhodes Scholar, faithful Roman Catholic, and infallible.

Premier Announces JUNO 2010 Legacy Project: JUNO Fever Forever!

The Honourable Danny Williams, Premier of Newfoundland and Labrador, and the Honourable Terry French, Minister of Tourism, Culture and Recreation, today announced a permanent legacy project to mark the 2010 JUNO awards being held this weekend in St. John's.

"I am a wild party," said Premier Williams, who is nominated in the Songwriter category for his hit single Yes We Have!. "We are pulling out all the stops to make this the wildest JUNO awards ever. We have the screechiest Screech, the druggiest dealers, the bustiest hookers. Guy hookers too, if that's your thing."

"However, given the amount of alcohol and other intoxicants to be consumed this weekend, we anticipate that some people will have trouble remembering that the JUNO awards were ever here, or that I was ever at them" said Premier Williams. "That is why my government is pleased to announce today that we are committing $1.3 million towards retrofitting Kimberly Row in downtown St. John's to look exactly like it does in the JUNO logo. We anticipate that by the time we announce this project another eight times, and are finished dragging our feet on actually doing the work, the final cost will be closer to $2.9 million, thereby stimulating the economy on a go-forward basis."

"Can I get a word in edgewise?" asked the Honourable Terry French, Minister of Tourism, Culture and Recreation. "For chrissake, I'm the Honourable Terry French, Minister of Tourism, Culture and Recreation!"

"Pfffffttt! You gotta be kidding me! No, you cannot," said the Honourable Danny Williams, Premier of Newfoundland and Labrador, "Besides which, you wouldn't fit edgewise into a hangar for the goddamn Hindenburg."

"OK, sir, sorry, sir" added the Honourable Terry French, Minister of Tourism, Culture and Recreation.

The Government of Newfoundland and Labrador has invested $1.025 million in the 2010 JUNO Awards, including $750,000 to host, $200,000 to establish and support the JUNO Host Committee, and $75,000 to assist with JUNOs on George, an unprecedented street party that will be featured during the Sunday, April 18, television broadcast of the 2010 JUNO Awards.　In exchange, the Government of Newfoundland and Labrador has received a 4.9% equity stake in future JUNO awards and a seat at the Big Boys table.

For more information about Premier Danny Williams, visit: http://www.gov.nl.ca/premier

Conceptual drawing of JUNO 2010 Legacy Project: JUNO Fever Forever!

Bad medicine

Williams government hires new pollster

Talks break off

So anyway the big news today is that talks between the Government and the doctors have broken down. Danny says that the doctors are asking for too much money, and so he is sticking to his tough bargianing position.

Good thing, we say!

Let the goddamn doctors stay in the ground until Danny gets a fair deal.

Let the goddamn doctors stay in the ground. They aren't going any where!!!