Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Public Advisory: Harper Conservative Sightings

Intergovernmental Affairs
March 26, 2008


Public Advisory: Harper Conservative Sightings

The Department of Intergovernmental Affairs is warning residents of recent reported sightings of Harper Conservatives near a number of communities.

Harper Conservatives have been sighted near Roddickton and the community of Quirpon, where one Harper Conservative entered a cabin by breaking a window. Another Harper Conservative was sighted near St. Anthony Monday evening, while on Tuesday a conservation officer spotted a Harper Conservative in the Squid Cove area approximately five kilometres from the community of Castors River South.

The pubic is reminded that Harper Conservatives are known to be extremely protective of their backbenchers. Accordingly, anyone encountering a Harper Conservative should:
• Remain calm
• Give the Harper Conservative(s) space
• Back away slowly, never run
• Speak calmly, but firmly
• Avoid direct eye contact with the Harper Conservative(s)
People residing in communities in the vicinity of where Harper Conservatives have been sighted are strongly encouraged to properly store garbage to reduce the risk for a human-Conservative encounter.

Officers with the Department of Intergovernmental Affairs are continuing regular patrols of the areas where Harper Conservative sightings have been reported in an effort to track the movement of the Harper Conservatives.

Anyone sighting a Harper Conservative is asked contact the Department of Intergovernmental Affairs.

No, to hell with it, just call VOCM.

-30-

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Throne Speech

THE GREAT PATRIOTIC WAR OF REVOLUTIONARY LIBERATION CONTINUES!

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!