Amber Alert

POLICE ISSUE AMBER ALERT

The Royal Newfoundland Labrador Mounted Cop Force has issued an immediate Amber Alert for Premier Danny Williams' shoulder.

The Williams shoulder was last seen sometime between the Premier's Tuesday night media scrum, and his Wednesday afternoon one. It is believed to have twitched completely off his body and escaped along the Parkway carrying a Blackberry.

The shoulder is described as a right shoulder, caucasian, approximately 60 years of age, and about five feet high. It may be distinguished by its well-tailored and expensive suits and a marked tendency to twitch, especially when asked a question more substantial than "to what do you attribute your brilliance, Premier Williams?", or when confronted with the cold, hard truth.

The shoulder may also be mentally confused, especially as to whether Newfoundland and Labrador is immune from the deepening worldwide recession.

Inspector-Detective Morley Roberts advises the public, that while the shoulder is not beleived to be armed or dangerous, and does not present a risk to itself or others, you should be cautious approaching the shoulder as it may attempt to flee.

It is possible that the shoulder may have already left the country. The Royal Newfoundland Labrador Mounted Cop Force has issued an alert through Interpol to national and local police forces in holiday destinations in Florida, Mexico, and the Caribbean.